Brooke - I think social media has definitely enabled surface level friendships. Friendships that aren't deep and meaningful, but more of an acquaintance. However, just realizing that it's happening can stop it. We can use social media to find things out about things going on in friends' lives and then contact them DIRECTLY - phone, stop by, etc. to talk to them about it. It can be used positively too. :)
Rachel - I've been thinking a lot about the same thing! I was a little taken aback at WPPI at the ever-so-popular notion that everything in my business was supposed to be about selling & marketing ME! I get it. I really do see where this comes from, but I think there is a major lack of concern for putting the CLIENT first in our industry. As if my relationship with clients is all about selling me! Hardly! I think part of our industry is off track with a slightly egotistical me-centered mindset. Can't wait for the trend to switch to something a little more selfess--I know it's a delicate balance, and of course I'm making a sweeping generalization that isn't true for everyone. Still...it's been on my mind a lot.
Melissa Jill :) - I appreciate everyone's input and comments. Many of you are advocating stepping away from and not using technology in order to better care for others in person, but I'm wondering if we can transform the way we use technology to better care for others? I think the answer is yes. Social media is certainly a way that we can quickly find out the needs of others. It just depends on how we react and either listen and try to meet those needs or just use technology for our own megaphone. I know I've heard about things going on in people's lives that I wouldn't otherwise have known about except through social media and been given the chance to pray for them. I guess I'm more interested in challenging myself to redeem technology to care for others rather than rejecting it altogether.
Laura Dillon - At the end of our life, few if any of us, will wish we had spent more time working, or at the office, or in our home office, or blogging, or texting, or tweeting. Millions of people are perfectly successful with current technology tools. People always have been, and nearly all I know who don't use these tools are still successful. I would like to encourage all younger people to consider not using all these tools and living life instead. Life can't be lived through these tools. To open up ones heart and make time for life to happen... well, I feel that pleases God and allows God to orchestrate. Wishing all of you reading the best in life, always!
Desiree Maerz - This is a hard one. Yes, I've been there, just last week in fact. I shut down my facebook account for this very reason. I won't say that it was an easy decision. I had to do it trusting that it's God who will grow my business, not how much I 'social media', and I also felt that I needed to connect with those I actually talk face to face with on a regular basis. I felt that THOSE are the people that God does for sure want me to make a solid connection with, not a one liner type of connection, but a serious, 'how did your daughter's surgery go' type of connection. There are so many things asking for our time, we can't possibly give everyone on social media our proper attention. And having said all that, yes, like you I do come away from conversations thinking that I was more selfish than I should have been, but God is good, and often gives me a second chance.
Lynn Cobb - I think it's like our journey with God. We just have to slow down and be conscious of it. We have to actually make a decision: "Does this matter in our lives or not?" We all have to be reminded of it sooo much.Can you tell that I just came from Ash Wednesday????
Kelly Green - I have been thinking about this a lot lately. How easy it is to spend time staring at a computer screen and not noticing the people around us because we are caught up in facebook or twitter reading about others lives!! I am making a huge effort from now on to limit my time on social networking sites because I feel too much of my time is wasted on them. I love my ipad & iphone, but it has made it way too easy to log in during family when I really should be focusing all of my attention on the people I love.
Sandra Jackson - Balance is always the key. I also agree with the comment about technology and social media only amplifying who you already are.
Danielle Panettiere - Thank you for the post. It's honest and raw and absolutly true. I think the older we get the more we realize about ourselves. Technology plays a huge part in society today. Especially for those who create their own business, My suggestion for you to connect with other is to take time once a week to blog about a friend or family member and something you love about them or something speical they did for you. You could even include it in your MJ Favs. You would be using technology but showing you sincerly care for them too.
Melissa Dunstan - YES! I've been thinking about this so much lately, and trying to figure out a balance in my own world. It hit me in the face last night when I was checking my FB and Twitter during a dinner with my husband and in-laws. I learned to put the social e-chatter away for the evening and found myself listening. Thank you so much for this honest post.
Tira J - You are SPOT ON with this MJ! The same thing happens to me when I am with friends and I have to make an extra effort to force the conversation back to the real reason we are friends in the first place. There are some people in my life who aren't really present any longer because it was all about them all the time. It's tough to handle, but some of them eventually come around. I have gone on FB & Twitter detox vacations and it feels soooo good. I actually find that if I stay away from them on the weekends, my friends and family get more of ME. I also think that with this voyeuristic society that has been created, we want to know what everyone is doing all the time via Twitter & FB, but when it comes to having a face to face conversation, we don't have a whole lot to say. Which is very very sad. I think it is time to get back to WWJD when it comes to social media, friendships, loving on others and so much more. HE would want us to be good stewards with the love he has shown us so we can show others. Now I am rambling. You get my points. Thanks for posting this. xoxo
Caroline Rentzel - Melissa, I've been feeling the exact same way. I love how you have been able to put into words what I have only been able to put into thoughts. Very insightful. Thank you for blogging this. Challenge accepted :) Hope you are doing well! ps Loved your MJ Faves post. I bought on amazon Jesus Calling the other day. I've been looking for a new devotional and I cant wait to dig into it!
Charrie - You hit the nail on the head! I've noticed on FB that there are alot of people on there that only talk about themselves and every little bitty "nothing" their doing and never respond to anyone else's comment. They just never truly engage with anyone. It's sad but you're on the right track to have even noticed and want to change. I think when you share your photography expertise with others, you're thinking of them. At least that's the way I feel when I read your blog. You seem like a very caring person. :)
Mike Olbinski - I honestly think it just depends on your philosophy of how to use social media. The term itself is "social", meaning interactive...personal. But a lot of people use it as a one-way street...to pass on their interests, opinions and products and do little else. Social media is all about interaction and relationships. From Twitter I've made a couple of amazing photographer friends whom I've never met. It's because I took the time to look at their work, share it with my followers, and build a relationship. If you use it for business it's very easy to get pulled into the idea of promoting nothing but yourself really. I find myself sometimes being selfish and not helping some of my fellow photogs out there and instead hoping they show interest in my work. But I try very hard to not do that. It's amazing how much a simple re-tweet of someone else's work, or a comment on their blog, etc., can make their entire day. At least in this business of photography...the one way to care for each other is to do our best to support each other...through kind words, help and whatever else we can think of doing. It's definitely not easy when you are overloaded with work, emails and people constantly barging you with questions. But I find that trying to build relationships with the photographers around me does two things: It makes me a better photographer and it allows me to form relationships that could be beneficial down the road. Not sure how well that addresses your question, but that's my two cents :)
Cydil - I think about this issue often! It is a conscious decision I have to make daily in all of my interactions with others. What can I ask others to show that I care beyond asking, "How are you doing?" Then, when they ask me (or I blog or tweet or share something on FB), am I being a good steward of the story God is writing through me (which is really not about me)? Great post and challenge!
Mandi - Yes yes and YES! I am totally with you on this. I am trying (and failing but still trying) to be that person who listens and asks, rather than the one who just talks. It's hard-- who doesn't like to talk about themselves? But I wanna be the person who makes the other person feel good. Here's to trying! (and thanks for the reminder)
Jan - Melissa, I've thought very similar things for years. I want people to be the most important thing, real relationships that bless others, but the demands of a photography business often over take my life to the point that I don't have the energy left to reach out to people that aren't naturally crossing my path or aren't clients. Keeping up with friendships takes being very intentional and a lot of time. My goal the last two years has been to make more time for friends, but it's been a struggle not to let the to do list take precedence, which it so often does. And social media gives the illusion that you're keeping up with people when in reality you aren't. So, I don't think there's an easy answer, unless we can add a few hours to each day! But I certainly can relate!
Andrea Brewster Photograohy - I think technology only amplifies who you already are. If you are already a generous, kind, caring person... then technology will not rob you from that. You end up marrying who you are to technology because it's provided you with other avenues of sharing yourself with others.
Holly - I agree so much! All of this has been on my mind for a while and I've been trying to figure out a way to write about it publicly, without offending. Tricky. In order for me to be a better person to others (and myself) I recently removed Twitter and Facebook from my bberry. I will still be present on there, but only when I'm focused at a desktop and not with other people. Respect and attention is so very important. And reciprocal in nature. Thanks for sharing!
denise karis - I noticed it was a total annoyance for me very early on and so made a huge effort to always ask the person I'm talking to about themselves - really, i cant stand it when I'm like "Ive asked this person 12 questions about themselves and they never ever ever asked me one single question about me." Goodness gracious. I think it IS what you make it. Yes, you're blogging your thoughts etc, but you're answering a lot of OUR questions. There's only so much you can make your blog about us, but i think you do a pretty great job :) Also, you have quite a few people (myself included) asking you for things on here and you are really generous about it all.
Jeff Cleveland - We are finding that in our family there has to be times when we put the technology away. Our kids send and receive so many text messages that it prevents us from really connecting - it is a constant interruption. Like everything, it's a challenge to find balance but that effort is important. Thanks for your honesty and openness.